A Sacred Journey

2004 was a momentous year for me. As the year began, I was in the process of dissolving my marriage. It was a courageous step and I felt a small sense of pride at that. Greater still were feelings of shame and grief. The entries in my 2004 journal reflect a tumultuous year on many fronts, as well as gratitude for those who supported me through it.

That was the year I moved out of our home, struggled to regain my balance, and welcomed Dagny Doodles into my life. I also started to look at career opportunities outside of Manitoba. I knew I needed more – whatever more was.

In January, 2004, I wrote this quote in the front of the journal I bought to document that year:

“Sometimes we fall asleep, get lost, or forget that we are such splendid, forgivable, adorable souls. We step into lives that aren’t ours, make choices that aren’t nourishing, or dance stiffly for years with the wrong partner, or parts of ourselves. Some say life is short. I say life is tall – grab a straw!” SARK

Little did I know what lay ahead. I grabbed that straw and began to drink from this beautiful, sacred life. I moved across the country to a fresh start. There were multiple job changes and apartment moves before I found my place in the civil service and in my condo community. The past twenty years include the loss of both of my parents and several friends. It also encompassed the magical relationship I had with my little Dagny. Twenty years of new friends and adventure. Joy and sorrow, challenge and growth, struggle and triumph.

Here we are, two decades later, and I’m on the cusp of another big change. The SARK quote no longer applies – I’ve learned well how to make choices that are nourishing. I’ve practiced taking big leaps and I’ve become comfortable with uncertainty.

2024 will be another momentous year for me. Earlier this month, I bought a new journal to document it. In the front, I wrote out the poem, For The Traveler, by John O’Donohue. There is much to be done before I leave but, when I do, these words will accompany me as I set off down a new path.

For The Traveler

Every time you leave home,
Another road takes you
Into a world you were never in.
 
New strangers on other paths await.
New places that have never seen you
Will startle a little at your entry.
Old places that know you well
Will pretend nothing
Changed since your last visit.
 
When you travel, you find yourself
Alone in a different way,
More attentive now
To the self you bring along,
Your more subtle eye watching
You abroad; and how what meets you
Touches that part of the heart
That lies low at home:
 
How you unexpectedly attune
To the timbre in some voice,
Opening in conversation
You want to take in
To where your longing
Has pressed hard enough
Inward, on some unsaid dark,
To create a crystal of insight
You could not have known
You needed
To illuminate
Your way.
 
When you travel,
A new silence
Goes with you,
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.
 
A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.
 
May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.
 
May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.
 
~ John O’Donohue ~